Sunday, January 24, 2010

I have been neglectful...

And I have no good excuse!

Tomorrow I go back to work. Day One of being a working mother.

And I am oddly happy about it.

I realized a few things in the last three months home with my son.

1 - I love him, and never want to be away from him, especially for any length of time. I miss the way he smells, his super soft skin, his cool fingers wrapped around mine. I imagine that I can hear the noises that he makes even when I am away from him. It makes me sad to think about dropping him off to be gone ALL.DAY.LONG.

2 - The thought of staying home on a more permanent basis is almost enough to send me climbing the walls. I know how that sounds. For those of you that think this makes me a bad mother, please see #1. I love my son. I also know myself. And it turns out that I am not cut out to SAH. I have mad props for those of you who can, because it is highly under appreciated, and considered "easy". Which is total BS. I have gone from a productive, crafty, busy loving wife to a lazy couch potato who spends far too much time on facebook. Even my husband said I get more done around the house (cooking, cleaning, crafting, going to school etc) when I work than I did the whole time I was on leave. I like me better with a job, it makes me feel like a productive member of society.

3 - I like money. There. I said it. My bank account is very mad at me. There are things in this life that I want, and the only way for me to get them is to have money. I like getting manicures and pedicures. I like going on nice vacations - and I want to go often. I want to be able to help provide Wyatt with a home and activities. I like MAC makeup and Guess handbags. All the luxuries in life. All these things cost money. Yes, we could sacrifice, but there is something to be said for maintaining quality of life. I grew up in a household with not a lot of money for the extras. As cheesy as it sounds, I want to give him the things I was never able to have. And that requires a two income family.

I will be certain to keep you posted with how going back to work actually feels, in comparison to my expectations! Pin It


MisAdventuresofMomof3 said...

Good luck at work! It is hard to leave them home - trust me, I know.

But like you I enjoy money. I like the adult interactions that I get with work - so you are not alone. Nothing to feel guilty about - I believe that my working makes me a better mommy.

Keep us posted on your first day, I'll be thinking of you!