cd1

Well, here we are. Cycle Day one. Which means we have entered our first cycle officially trying to conceive. YAY!!!

My version of the happy dance. :)

Anyway, moving right along.
I am very excited to be finally TTC. I feel like all I ever think about is babies. I think that I have been "Baby Crazy" for at least four years. It feels right now. Our timing in life is perfect. We are pretty much where we want to be career wise, we are stable in our relationship (better than stable, who am I kidding? My husband is my best friend, and I can't imagine life without him!), we own our house, both cars are paid off, and we are *almost* completly debt free. It just feels right. I have been waiting a looong time to be in a place where having a baby makes sense, and I can't tell you how great it is to be there. It means even more that Scott is right there with me. When I had that pg scare two cycles ago, he was disappointed when I got AF. Which just about broke my heart.

I am on week two of not smoking, and still going strong! I am reaching that point where I am starting to be very proud of myself! I have actually quit smoking! It's fantastic! One thing that makes me the proudest is that I did it for me. I always said that it would take getting pg to get me to quit. Well, here I am, not pg, and quitting! I think it means more this way. Yay me!

Back to babies. I recently discovered the moby wrap. I think it is my new baby obsession. I keep thinking about what it will be like to carry FP in my moby. What color I should get, should I just make my own? I absolutely loove this one from etsy!

I love it! She makes reversible ones, too! So you don't even have to make up your mind!!! I love it! Pin It

Day 2... sorta

Well, I'm doing it. I finished my last pack of cigarettes on Saturday. I helped Scott smoke his while at a party Saturday night. I literally smoked 2 (ok, 3) cigarettes yesterday. If you compare this to the fact that I was at almost a pack a day for a while (at least a year) I"m doing pretty damn good!

Today is day 2 quitting, and Day 1 with out a cigarette. My day is almost half way over, and this sucks. I'm not proud of my self right now. I have no self righteous glee to get me through this time. Instead I sit here in misery. My head hurts, my stomach hurts, I'm hungier than I can ever remember being. I noticed this morning that I really wanted breakfast. I don't usually eat breakfast, so this was a little unsual for me. I realized that I'm not hungry because I smoke first thing. Nicotine is an appetite suppressant. So now I've been eating all day long. I am not excited about this.

Quitting smoking is hard. Especially by yourself. Right now I'm going cold turkey. And it sucks. My stomach hurts, and I'm feeling really jittery. I am also feeling the need to lash out. My patience is gone, my empathy is shot. Basically I'm in a pissy big mouth mood. And I have to play nice at work. Today sucks. Pin It

Enough is Enough

Have you ever gotten to a point in your life where you realized things have gotten out of control? I hit that point today. Before I go any further, I need to clarify this. I do not think I'm fat. Ok. Moving on.

I am the biggest I've ever been in my whole life right now. 114 lbs!!! 114! When I hit 110, I thought to myself, wow, you better start doing someting about this. But since I know I'm not fat, it just kept getting pushed to the wayside. Motivation just wasn't there. Scott still thinks I'm sexy, most of my clothes still fit ok, everyone else comments on how tiny I am. So I let it slide. Well, four pounds later, the weight isn't sliding. I'm done. I want to be in good shape when we get pg (of course) so I'll be more motivated to get back to pre-pg weight. I need to quit smoking, and I need to eat healthier.

The real kicker happened today. I had decided to start swimming. Its an awesome cardio workout, plus it works out the muscles I'd really like to tone (back, arms and legs). It is a real full body workout. Plus, I figured I can keep swimming while pg, so I wouldn't have to get out of my routine. (You know this had something to do with babies, everything does) I went today and managed to swim 5 lengths. 5. I couldn't even swim back again to get back to where I sarted from! This was just a slap in the face with how completely out of shape I am. I really can't believe I ever let myself get so out of shape! This is insane. I used to do ballet on a daily basis! There was one point in time (in a summer program through y high school) that I danced from 8 am to 5 pm Monday through Friday for 6 weeks. And now I can't even swim 5 laps without dying.

So, here's THE PLAN:

• I will continue to go to the gym as usual with my awesome workout buddies 2-3 times a week. Concentrating more on muscle tone and flexibility.

• Every morning I will go to the gym and swim. I hesitate to put a time limit on this, since now I lasted 10 minutes, and I can only assume that I will be able to swim for longer each time I go. But I want to actively do better each time. Today I swam 5 lengths, tomorrow will be 6 and so forth.

• I am going to cut soda out of my diet again. That made a big difference last time (last 2 lbs in less than a month, no exercise)

• I am going to quit smoking. This ones the doozy. I plan on buying the nicotine patch this weekend. So heres a friendly warning, I may not be very social for the next week or so...

So that is my plan. I am asking you to help me with this. If you see me doing one of the things I'm going to stop doing, kindly remind me of The Plan. If you see me NOT doing the things I said I was going to start doing, kindly remind of The Plan. On the flip side, positive reinforcement is a very valuable tool. So if you notice that The Plan has been working, please let me know!

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Long time no see...

I think I have pretty much given up on this whole blog everyday thing. Oh well. My life really isn't all that interesting anyway. So, moving right along....

Yesterday was Independence Day. We didn't really do anything too interesting. My sister came over and we did some shopping. First we saw the movie Hancock. The girls all liked it, the boys not so much. Scott was expecing a new superhero movie, so he was a little disppointed that it wasn't really like that. This movie was more about heart. Next we headed over to Babies R Us (BRU) to pick up some things for our friend Stephanie's baby shower. This is their fourth child, and the first girl! So of course they have nothing for her. They are very excited, and I had fun picking out items from her registry. After lunch Anna and I headed to JoAnn fabrics for some yarn and a basket for Stephanies gifts. While we were there, I picked up some yarn and a set of knitting needles, so my sister can teah me how to knit. So far so good, if I do say so myself. I'm working on a blaket, which I think is harder than it looks.

Anyway, I still want babies, we still have to wait, but I'm thinking of adding a ticker, as the countdown ha begun!

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