I am a lousy blogger....

Well, I didn't make a new posts at all this week. It was a pretty stressful week for me. Scott was out of town, and I never like it when that happens.

The real reason I didn't post is I had a pregnancy scare. I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about it, and since I didn't really know one way or another, I wasn't quite ready to share yet. I thought about it, and the whole point of this blog is to provide on outlet. The upside is that the people in my life can stay up to date on my outlet if they so choose. So I shouldn't be afraid to put personal things in here. Basically, I'm asking for understanding. This blog is going to be quickly becoming a log of current events, not wishful thinking. I need this to be a place I can do that. So please understand that while I may be ready to blog about it, doesn't mean I'm ready to talk about it. So unless I bring it up first, please don't bring up the things you may read here in Real Life.

Anyway, here's what happened.

Short version: I'm not pregnant.

Long Version:

I have been charting for two months now, and both months have been very different. The first month I started charting, I wasn't using a Basal Body Temperature (BBT) thermometer. This is technically ok, but the level of accuracy is higher with a BBT. I bought a new one for Cycle 2.

Cycle 1:

As you can see below, last month I was "triphasic" (two distinct temp shifts).

This alone is not a guarantee of pg, but combined with a later period, and a longer luteal phase (the days to the right of the red cross hairs) makes for a very nervous Mya. Why, you may ask? Why would the possibility of a BFP (big fat positive) make you nervous? You just spent the last dozen blog entries telling us how much you want to be a mom....

Well, faithful reader, that answer is simple. If we get a BFP before Aug, I will not qualify for maternity leave. Part of that scenario doesn't bother me. I want to be a SAHM (stay at home mom) anyway, so the guarantee of a job after 12 weeks doesn't really affect me. However, the loss of our health care scares the shit out of me. No maternity leave =employer=no health care+new baby = unhappy Mya. Anyway, three BFNs (Big Fat Negative) later, I finally got AF (Aunt Flo). So no pea in the pod just yet.

Living through the last week taught me a lot about myself. I realized that as much as I want babies, I want even more to be smart and responsible about it. And having the week to get used to the idea of the possibility of a BFP made me realize how much I really want that. And it did the same for Scott.

When we first started talking about getting pg in the nearish future, it was in abstract terms. Then as we warmed up (ok, he warmed up) to the idea, we started thinking time frames. It started with summer 2009, then it got moved up after a wave of pg friends to Marchish 09. Then again to October, and October it stayed until last week.

This week we realized that all of the reasons we are waiting (travel plans, a new car etc) don't really matter. Expanding our family is fast becoming a priority. So now the plan is to start trying as soon as possible. Meaning August. Still need that maternity leave. Now, keep in mind we are not planning to "get pregnant" in August, simply to start trying. I am well aware that just because we say it's time, doesn't mean it happens that way. But we have to start somewhere.

Again, I ask that if you read it here, and I have not mentioned this to you personally, please don't bring it up. I'm ready to start sharing, but not discussing just yet.

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Remember MASH?

Do you remember that game we all used to play when we were little? Its now available online!
I totally stole this from Amber's blog, but it was super fun!

Here are my results:

You will marry Scott.

After a wild honeymoon, you will settle down in Wisconsin in your fabulous Shack.

You will have 12 kid(s) together.

The family will zoom around in a green PT Cruiser.

You will spend your days as a Teacher, and live happily ever after.

Now, I swear I didn't cheat! This is how it came out! lol! Totally perfect! Talk about hitting the nail on the head! What is even more interesting about this, is we have seriously been talking about moving to WI sooner, rather than later (and that means 5 yrs instead of 10) and opening a daycare there. lol

To play go here. Pin It

Yesterday

We went to the movies. Scott and I really wanted to see the new Hulk movie, so we invited my sister Anna and Kim to join us.

I loved it! I highly recommend seeing this one.

We were also very excited during the previews. Not only was there one for Hellboy 2 (which I am stoked about) but they are making a second X-Files movie!!! I LOVE IT!!! My sister and I grew up with that show, it was one of my dads favorites, so we would all sit around and watch it. I am so happy they are making another one!

Thats about it!

More later! Pin It

Here I go again....

I missed another day. Drat it all. Anyway...


Last night I went to the Phoenix Mercury game with Aliza. We had a blast! The energy level was high, the Mercury played fantastically (of course, we aren't champions for nothing), and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. We decided by the end of the night this would be something we could see ourselves really getting into ("Next time, we have to wear jerseys, too!") on a pretty regular basis. Not daily or even weekly, but definitely at least once a month.


We were deciding on who would be our fave player (and whose jersey we would sport) by the oldest means available; Who ever was shortest got our vote. :) We chose #23 Cappie Pondexter. That's right, not only is she the shortest on the team, her name is Cappie Pondexter. You have to remember that while we are choosing based solely on height, the shortest people in the WNBA are not short by any means. Our choice is 5'9... really short. lol.

Anyway, we had a good time. We had an *almost* issue with the "lesbian mom" behind us. I asked her obnoxious kid not to whistle in my ear, and ridiculousness ensues.


Full story: We're in 3rd quarter (just after half time, about 8:00), these 3 girls (around 8-10 years old) behind us have been screaming and hollering and whistling the whole time (typical behavior at a basketball game, so no problem there). 2 of the girls can whistle (and I don't mean Jiminy Cricket whistle, I mean full on obnoxious piercing make your head explode whistle) just fine, but I guess the third couldn't. So they are leaning forward trying to whistle, blowing air and germs all over us. Girl #3 (we'll call her Brat) says "I can't do it!" I turned around, and simply said "It's OK. You don't have to." Not mean, just plainly said. Said brat starts crying. Like really crying. So my guilt factor kicks in, and I start to feel a little bad; I didn't mean to make her cry. Only she has a delay of about 6 minutes. So by the time she's crying everyone else has forgotten all about it. So "Lesbian Mom" leans over to us "Ma'am, what did you say to her?" I told her the truth, "you don't have to whistle". I'm assuming we're at end of story. Oh no. Every 5 to ten minutes for the rest of the game, Moms trying to talk to me. "Ma'am shes crying." "look at her face" "This is a place to be loud" "She was having fun". I've have since apologized literally 5 times to sniveling Brat. We are literally almost an hour after the incident, and this little girl is still crying. I don't mean silent tears, I mean gut wrenching whole body sobbing. At this point I don't really much care that I "hurt her feelings" by saying its OK if she can't whistle. If you go turn into a mess for over an hour because a stranger says you don't have to whistle, you have more issues than I can help you with. Pin It

Wow...

So much for writing two yesterday. I am a giant slacker. In truth, I simply had nothing to blog about. I thought about it. I really did, but nothing came to mind. Kind of like right now. So I guess I will just continue to ramble.

I had a very interesting conversation with my boss today at lunch. Somehow we started talking about how it really does change when you get married. Not in a bad way at all, but in a lot of ways your priorities shift. Your husband (well, at least mine) is your best friend. I don't do a lot of things without Scott any more. Not because I'm not allowed, or I can't, but mainly because I really don't want to. Gone are the days you can take off for a "girls weekend". The only way I'm going anywhere for a girls weekend is if we plan it to coincide with a "guys weekend" where we all stay together. I don't just spend the night at friends houses anymore. Not because I don't like them, but because I feel like I have a house and a husband now, and that is where I need to be at night. There are also events or activities that I just don't really feel are appropriate. For example, if I was invited to go out on a boat with a good girl friend and her group of friends (a fair amount of men I have never met) and my husband was unable to go, I would decline. I really don't think that is acceptable behavior for a married woman. I would know that I had no evil intentions, and my husband trusts me completely, but that is just not the point. As much fun as I'm sure it would be, part of being married is drawing a line. This line is more concrete, and has less "wiggle room" than it did before we were married.

Most nights I am content to stay at home with my husband and our dogs, read a book or watch TV. The idea of "clubbing" leaves me completely disinterested. 90% of the people who go to clubs are either looking for someone, or open to meeting someone. I don't feel like I need to be in that environment. I really do feel that I am now part of a package deal. Where he goes, I go and vice versa. Now, don't think I don't have my own life, or my own friends. I do. And I have plenty of time for them. But now, as unfortunate as it sounds, that all comes second. When I took the vows to love, honor and cherish above all others, I meant them. If for some reason I really want Scott to stay home instead of playing poker he does. If he wants me to stay home instead of going shopping or something, I do. Rarely do we ever ask that of each other, but the reality is that if we asked, it would be no problem.

I think that a lot of "unmarried people" (don't want to call them single, because they might not be) don't really understand that. They see it as controlling, or jealous, or smothering. That is just not the case. The way I see it is this. Scott is truly my best friend. In reality he will be by my side every day and every night until death do us part. I don't spend as much time with him, talking to him or thinking about him as I do because we're married; I do it because I love him and I want to be with him all the time. Most things that I do would be more fun if he was there too. That's not to say that I don't enjoy happy hour with the girls, or a girls day shopping. It's just that if I don't jump at the opportunity, or commit to a once a week get together, don't be surprised. I really do value the time I spend with him. While it may seem to you boring and "old" to me this is life. I chose it on purpose and it's exactly where I want to be. Pin It

oops...

I told myself when I started this blog that I would make an entry everyday. I've done pretty well so far, until yesterday. So today, I have to write two. That is pretty fair punishment I think.

Yesterday was Fathers Day. We went to lunch with my family at a Koren restaurant. My mom, dad, Scott and I all got sushi (yum!). My sister had the teritaki chicken. Everything was going fine until they brought out the "side dishes" for my sisters meal. None of it really looked like food. There was one especially that we weren't sure what it was, my mom said green beans, I said gross. Upon futher inspection we realized I was right. Gross. A little bowl full of little tiny fishes. With all their heads on. Some only had heads! Yuck. So we figure out its anchovies. So my dad starts eating them. Not on anything, just with a fork. I can't get over the fact that they all still have heads. My sister said thats how they come on pizza, too. yuck. So my dad is still eating these things, and comments that he can't imagine someone wanting to eat them on pizza. I told him I couldn't imagine someone wanting to eat them with a fork. yuck. Then of course everyone had to tease me about eating sushi but not anchovies. They still had heads people! Heads!

After lunch we headed over to Scotts parents house. We helped them set up the 30 gal aquarium we all got Dave for fathers day. Good times. It took all 4 of us o figure out how to set up the filter. That was with directions and an engineer! Holy complicated. (instructions pictured are not for a filter system. Please do not attempt at home...)

After we triumphed over said fish tank, we went to Tims house, to purchase my new phone. I love my new phone! I got the T-Mobile HTC Wing. Its like a Blackberry and a Sidekick had a baby (see, I do mention babies in every post!). I have Windows Mobile, which means I can do pretty much everything from my phone! I love it! It has a calendar that I can synch with outlook, so I will never forget what time my nail appointments are, I stay looged onto my yahoo account at all times, so when I get a new email it alerts me like a text message, so I won't miss any important news! I have IM software, and can play mp3s. I love it! Plus its blue, and blue is my favorite color! Its got a camera and video, speaker phone etc.

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Today

Was a good day. Kim got a new tattoo and I went along for emotional support (and someone to talk to). I think it came out awesome! It's a mirrored bass clef, to honor her brother. Joe with Chromo Tattoos did an awesome job, and was laughing and joking with us through the entire process. We looked at some more of his pieces on his myspace, and he just does all around great work. Thanks go to Jessie for the recommendation.

Sitting in the shop, watching Kim "get inked" really got my tattoo itch going again. I've been thinking alot about what I want to get done next. I know I want to expand on my "tramp stamp". It was my first tattoo and is very simple. So I'd like to add some color and flair to it. I really need to get my blue one retouched as well. But I don't think that fixing/adding will cure the bug like a new piece would....

As you all know, I am obsessed with peas. Literally. Odlly enough I refuse to eat them. I think they are gross. But I like to look at pea things, I guess. I've been thinking about getting a pea pod to symbolize our marriage, and add a pea for every child. I'd like it to be small, and right next to my hip. We were tossing around some ideas today, and I think it just may work! I'd like to start with just two peas (for me and Scott) in a pod, and add as our family grows, but I'm not sure how exactly to accomplish this. If anyone has any ideas, feel free to share! Pin It

Drunk Blogging

Sooo... I'm a little drunk. I will apoligze now for any typring, spelling ot grammatical errros that may occur.

We went to Happy Hour with my neighboor and dear friend Melissa. We saw Katie and some noew friends of melissas. then we (kim, jessie and I ) met Kenny and Scott at the Rock (a gay bar we frequent).

Jessie was following us to the bar, and we got there first. wHEN kima nd I got out of the car we saw "jessie". There had been a car that had jsut left. So I flagged "jessie" to the parking spot. )Insert air traffic controller here". "Jeesie" parks and gets out of the car. Surprise! "Jessie" turns out to be a carful (literally) of 5 gay guys who looked like they just walked out of a SCottsdale bar. Who i had just directed to the open parking spo. so i say "I'm sorry, we thought you were out friends! I awear I"m not that crazy" 4 of the guy just laugh and say its ok anf anothe r one says "yeah, we're not your fiends" all mean Like. I was loike ooook. erky gay guys.

Fast forawrd to the end of the night and one of the guys (who probably was not the one who made the jerky comment) keeps saying "hey white-hat, het white hat" to my husband (who is wearing a white het) over and over. Scoot just ignores them, but I said "what do you need" (very politley) and they said "get that guy" pointing to scott. i said "who, my husband?" lol they were very dissapointed.

That is my runken blog. I hope you enjoywed. :) ime for bed! Pin It

Inspired

We had a "poll" of sorts on the message board today. It was "List 5 things you do that drive your Husband Nuts".

Now I don't know about you, but there are waay more than 5 things that I do that annoy my husband. I was sort of inspired by this post, so I decided to continue it in the blog today. These are the things I do that I am sure annoy Scott.

• I use the toilet paper until the roll is completely gone. And then I don't always change it.
• I leave my shoes all over the house.
• I never clean without being asked to.
• I leave make up all over the bathroom counter.
• I say I'm going to go to the gym, and then I don't.
• I read until all hours of the night.
• Talk about babies.
• I will snooze (happily) for hours on end, sometimes I even set my alarm for ealier than I need to just so that I can snooze.
• I spend hours researching stuff for FP.
• I make him look at all the stuff I've researched for FP.
• I will not stay on the phone with him if I'm in the car with only one other person. However, I'll talk the whole way if I'm talking to someone else.
• I can never enjoy "now" because I'm too worried about the future.
• I eat pretzles and cream cheese for dinner more nights than not.
• I wake up early on the weekends.
• Talk about babies.
• Borrow his car and don't put the mirrors or the seat back when I'm done.
• Never cook dinner.
• Leave my car trashed.
• Spend money.
• Spend his money.
• Talk about babies.
• Talk on the phone during rush hour.
• Put dirty dishes next to the sink instead of in the dishwasher.
• Fill the trash and don't take it to the garage.
• Keep stuff on my dresser.
• Oh, and talk about babies. :)

All this, and he still loves me. I'm the luckiest girl alive.

What are some of the things you do, that your special someone loves you through?

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Stressful Day....

I had a very stressful day today. The H and I had a couple hours where we weren't seeing eye to eye. Turns out neither of us were really understanding each other, so we're good now. (I love you, baby!) Anyway, my mood was pretty sour all day.

A couple of weeks ago, I got backed into in the parking lot of my work. It put a giant dent in my hood and broke my turnsignal/headlight. I got an estimate on the damage to my car - $2500 dollars. Keep in mind we didn't even pay that much for the stupid car in the first place. $2500! I couldn't believe it! So anyway, I gave him a copy of the estimate and I've been going back and forth with him with no success.

I spoke with him today, and he said we had a couple of options as to how to proceed. 1. He can give me $500 in cash, and I would have to sign paperwork saying that we're even. 2. We can go through his insurance and get my car fixed that way. $500 are you freaking kidding me?! That's only a quarter of the damage. Needless to say, we'll be going through the insurance. His thought behind the offer? "I wasn't sure if you were going to get the car fixed, and thought you might rather have the money." $500 dollars? Like I'm supposed to jump at the opportunity or something. Give me a break.

On top of that, yesterday my poor car started overheating. All it needed was coolant, but it still worries me that it may have a leak or something. So me and my car aren't really getting along all that well right now. I don't really feel very safe in it; the guy who hit me really had no idea I was there, I was too small for him to see from his Yukon. And now, the engine is acting up. Argh. I am not having fun. So basically Scott and I were debating the benefits of purchasing my new vehicle sooner rather than later (yay!) last night. Which is what we were miscommunicating about today. Its a long story, and if I rehash it I'll probably get all grumpy, so I'll just leave it alone.

The point is, I was very stressed and irritable all day. So I decided to get a hair cut. I've been thinking/talking/planning this for a few months now, but I don't have a regular stylist. I tend to get very emotional about my hair, and I have high expectations. It makes for an interesting experience every time I get my hair cut. If you already don't know, 9 times out of 10 my new haircut leaves me in tears. I know some of you have been subjected to the incohenrent ranting of a freshly groomed Mya, so you'll know what I'm talking about. Most of the time I get used to it, and I'm happy enough with it in a couple days. But if the stylist makes me cry, I don't really want to go there again. So seeing a new person on a whim when I'm already in a crappy mood could have turned out to be disatrous!

I went to Salon Surreal off of 16th and Glendale to see if they had space for a walk-in. Lucky for me, they sure did! My stylists name was Brandi, and her hair was very similar to the way I wanted mine cut. Thats a good sign! She was sooo sweet! She was asking about my wedding, and when I told her I used to have extensions, she was very interested in the technique we used. She asked me what I wanted done (clean up the layers, keep the length), and actually showed me how much she was going to cut before she did anything. A nice touch, I thought. Fast forward to the end. The telltale part of a cut for me is the style. Most people don't know how to straighten my hair (not sure why, it's not difficult, I do it all the time!) so I leave looking like a poodle. I never plan haircuts for right before I need to go somewhere because inevitably I'll have to go home and fix something. Anyway, Brandi styled it perfectly! Straight enough to be smooth, but it had just enough body to stay textured. I love my new haircut!! I love it! It looks so much longer now, and you can see the color difference better between the bottom layer (almost black) and the top layer (lighter brown). I absolutely love my hair cut! I will be going to Brandi for all my cuts in the future. Unfotunately, the color prices at this salon were out of my price range. I have an appointment later this month with a stylist named Tonya who's prices are much friendlier. I hope that I love Tonya's color as much as I love Brandi's cuts.

I have no pictures yet, but I will try to upload soem soon. Pin It

Longing

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you could literally feel that thing in your arms? Or had a dream so incredibly vivid that when you wake up you are completely floored that what you just experienced is not reality? This is how I feel pretty much everyday. I am so excited to be a mom, that I can smell the poopy diapers already!

I am a planner. That's just the way I roll. I like to figure out everything before I actually need to. I get all my research done in advance, and I am less likely to make an emotional decision, or settle for something else. I did it when we bought our house, I did it when we planned our wedding, and I'm doing it now, preparing for our Future Peanut.

This is what I have discovered:

We will need a new car, since both of ours only have two doors. There is no way you are going to see little me hauling an infant seat in/out of a backseat without a back door. So I did the research, and decided on a Nissan. First I thought I wanted a Versa, but a little more info led me to believe that we will outgrow this car too quickly. So then I wanted an Altima. In reality it won't work, mainly because it's out of our budget. So, that leads us to the Sentra.

Nissan redid the body styling starting in 2007 and I absolutely love this car! I took it for a test "sit" (I knew if I actually drove it, I would leave in tears because we can't buy it yet) and this car was literally perfect for me! I am only 4"10, so proportion is a key factor for me in car buying. Well, I sat in the Sentra and was shocked! I didn't even have to move the seat! Whoever test drove the car last had left it in the perfect position for me! All the mirrors were correct, even the seat back. I could reach all the dials, and the glove box was huge! Like keep your laptop in it huge. One of the first things I looked for was visibility. Being as short as I am, (and you can laugh if you must) being ableto see over the steering wheel and the dash is important. You'd be surprised how big of an issue this is for me. Low and behold, I can see everything! I couldn't believe it! The new Nissans get great gas mileage, and are some of the safest cars on the market. Add into that the Nissan reputation and reliability, the LATCH system standard in all vehicles and the friendly price range, you have my perfect car. If only I can wait until February....

Here comes the Baby Stuff. I will try not to bore you with tons of detials, but I get pretty excited about stuff like this, so no promises.

Crib: Storkcraft Aspen Stages in Black

It is convertible (changes into a toddler bed, then a full-sized bed), has a multi-position mattress and a dropside rail (remember that whole really short thing? yeah, its still and issue). I love it!

We like the Bananafish Short Latte Bedding. It's simple enough not to be overwhelming, but interesting enough not to be boring. Plus it combines my two favorite things; stripes and polka dots!

Put it all together in a room like the one below, and it's my idea of a perfect nursery!
I really like what this family did with the colors, the molding, well pretty much everything! I love that the room feels very open and inviting. It isn't too babyish, so Future Peanut (we'll call him FP until there is actually a Pea in the Pod...) can grow into it without needing a drastic remodel. I also like that if you chose pink accents instead of blue, it would be perfect for a little girl! To see more of this room, click here.

Another necessity of parenthood is of course, the diaper bag. I fell in love with this one. The Ju-Ju-Be Be Prepared in Mint Julep. I love this compny, and their bags are fabulous! Go here for more info.

The inside of the bag is full of little pockets (some are even insulated to keep bottles warm/cool).

Click each picture to enlarge. Otherwise you won't get the full effect!

You can't have children with out the following. You need a stroller, car seat, pack and play (bassinet) and a swing. The line I like is the Graco Deco. I love the pattern, and they all have awesome safety ratings, and reviews. The stroller has a one-hand fold feature which is nice, and the infant seat is the nicest on the market. The playard has a built in bassinet with a toy bar (it also plays music!)

Well, my hats off to you if you made it this far! This is what goes through my mind all the time. I really cannot wait until the time is right for me to put all my research to work. This was just the tip of the iceberg. One of these days, maybe we'll get into cloth diapers...

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Bridal Fashion Debut

Yesterday was the June Bridal Show. My very dear friend Jamie is an invitation designer, and she was willing to let me tag along for the day. Talk about a lot of people! We saw literally thousands of brides with their entourage, and not to mention some of the cutest babies as well.

I think the show went well. Jamie's invitations attracted alot of attention, not to mention the new "Dulce Apparel" section as well. And who could doubt it? Jamie's invitations are creative, personal and definately one of a kind. She did all of my stationary for our wedding and I couldn't be more thrilled! http://www.dulcecreative.com/

We met a few new vendors, like the girls from Green Envy planning. They are "eco-chic" coordinators that cater to brides going for a Green Wedding. http://www.greenenvyevents.com/

And of course, I have to mention my friend Kim from Event Essentials. She had a booth this year and it looked great! http://www.theeventessentials.com/

All in all I think the show was packed, and we were a hit!

It was kind of nice to get out of my head for the day. We saw lots of pregnant brides and bridesmaids. I was paying attention to the kinds of strollers everyone had, and which ones seemed to navigate the crowd better. I don't really have an answer to that, mainly because I was working, not shopping. But it was fun to watch anyway!

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Aching Ovary Syndrome

Yesterday I had the pleasure of putting Ari to bed. Ari is the 4 year old son of one of my best friends, Aliza. He was the "flower boy" in my wedding, and is pretty much all around the best kid I've ever met. He is probably the happiest child I've ever known.

I had to stop by Aliza's to return some borrowed clothes (Thanks Again, Aliza!) and it was just as they were getting home from the movies. Ari spilled juice on his pants, so "Aunt Mya" helped him change into pjs and get ready for bed. After asking to watch a movie with me (can't sweetie, it's time for bed), "can you sleep with me?" (can't sweetie, I have to go to my own bed soon) "can you stay at my house for just one more minute?" (ok, one more minute...) "can you read me a story? pleeeease? (ok, one story). Well the one story turned into 4. How could I resist? At the end of each story he would give me hug, tell me thank you, and promptly choose another book. "this one?" (ok, one more) and crawl right back into my lap to cuddle.

Ari simply astounds me with his intelligence. We went to see his dance performance last month, and Scott was going to just meet me there. I joined Aliza and her family at Whataburger first.

When I arrived at Whataburger, I was greeted by a huge smile, and rapidly waving arms. He got out of the car, jumped up for a hug, and immediately started talking. "i have a dance show today! are you going to come to my show?!" (i sure am buddy, that's why I'm here) "oh thats great! I love you, Mya..." (oh, I love you too, Ari. You make my ovaries hurt kid) "why Mya?" (cause you're just too cute, that's why!) so he says to his mom "mom! I make Mya's ofarys hurt cause I'm cute!" which at this point, the whole family is cracking up.

After a few great hugs hello, we sat down to eat. A few minutes later, Ari is asking me where Scott is. The thing that really got me about that, was he's really only seen Scott a handful of times. The fact that he remembered his name, and knew that Scott "belongs" with me, and that he should be where I am really just boggled my mind.

So Ari is one (of the many) causes of Aching Ovary Syndrome. When I see children like him, I literally ache inside. I want a child so bad it hurts. Pin It

Well, Here Goes Nothing...

Day one. I have been thinking of starting a blog for a while now, and for whatever reason, today just feels right. I feel like I should warn you, its gonna be about babies.


Anyway, for a little history. Scott and I were married March 20, 2008. The weather was gorgeous, and it couldn't have been a more perfect day. We bought our house in December of 2006, and are blessed with happiness and health continually. Scott is my best friend, and I can't believe I'm lucky enough to spend every day of the rest of my life with him by my side.

A few years ago, I had an ectopic pregnancy. Very scary situation, but everything worked out for the best. Once you have one ectopic, your chances for another increase. Not exponentially, but definitely more risk. So I'm a little nervous about what will happen when Scott and I start trying to have a baby.


I want to be a mother more than anything else in this whole world. It's actually all I ever wanted to do. I never went to college, never decided on a real career, all because of motherhood. I would find something that I thought I wanted to do, but in my mind I would say "But I'd really only do that until I kids, then I'd be staying home. Is it really worth all the time/effort/money for less than 5 years in that career?" and I'd give up. Part of me understands this (after all, I was the one who thought that way in the first place!), but the other part wishes I'd just have gone and gotten the damn degree! But anyway, I digress. The point is, all my life that's what I wanted to be. A mother. Pin It